Going Straight(-laced)
This post is about a lot of things: life changes, changes in taste, and the flack I feel like I'll get for the spelling of the title. For the record, Merriam-Webster's says "straight-laced" is an acceptable alternative for "strait-laced."
In 2001, I was playing around with the idea of taking over a tattoo parlor. This is an odd idea, considering I didn't have any tattoos and was timid about the idea of putting something permanent on my skin. However, I'd created a cartoon character five years earlier who embodied my idea of an artist; he had an earring.
So instead of getting a tattoo, I'd thought I'd try out the piercing side of things. The guy I was studying didn't like piercing guns, he basically used a sharp nail. After a powerful hot flash, I never got any other piercings. Though, I did take out the original to occasionally replace it with another. Then I got my current hoop in about 2006, a painful upgrade from 16 gauge to 12 which stretched the hole in my ear by 0.8 mm. Clearly, I'm not suited for pain or piercings.
In the video, you'll see some pictures of me from my childhood and their comparison to photos from my early adult years. I find the contrast amusing.
I first started considering removing my earring after I earned my bachelor's degree. This isn't just because I wanted to make the right impression, much like my ponytail before it, my earring had lost its significance. I've long had a paranoia about getting my hoop pulled through my ear, tearing the lobe. Every baby I've held between 1992 and 2009 would grab hold of some long lock of my hair, quickly entangling it in its spit-greased fingers. The idea of those fingers finding my earring spooks me like nothing else except for chipping my teeth. Those are my two phobias. Perhaps with the earring out, the baby will instead bash my mouth with a sippy cup, ruining rendering 6 years of corrective dental work.
Truth be told, I'm not worried about being a dad. I'm more worried about not earning a living wage for my family than I am about my overall performance as a father. That, and I'm freaked out about my health. Thanks to my wife's encouragement, I've been working out more. The most challenging thing currently is trying to finish preparing the nursery. I'll let you know how that goes.
There is one picture I'll share with you that didn't make it in my video montage.
Pictured here, I'm sitting on my front step in 1997. This is one of my favorite photos of myself, but I don't think I'd go back even for a day. As any of my friends from back then could tell you, I was painfully lonely. I was also unable to reconcile my internal conflicts of character, nor could I accept my world as it was. There was always some Utopia I was striving for — a better community — a more thoughtful people. Much of this was reflected in my writing at the time.
I have a better understanding of myself now and how unique my insights can be. This also gives me more patience with others ... but admittedly not enough. My wife provides me the companionship and common vision I'd desired for so long. It's usually her feedback that provides me an even keel. Friends and family make up the Utopia I thought I'd set out to find. That's some seriously clichéd insight, rehashed one-too-many times in movies and novels. The fact that I appreciate that cliché, my own growth, and the trial run my stepdaughter, Kayla has allowed me — all these things allow me to face the prospect of a baby without fear. I didn't get there alone. Thanks to all of you who chipped in. I appreciate it.
For more of my videos, visit my YouTube channel at http://www.youtube.com/user/bstmichael77?feature=watch or subscribe to them by clicking to the button in the column to the right. Please leave a comment below!
In 2001, I was playing around with the idea of taking over a tattoo parlor. This is an odd idea, considering I didn't have any tattoos and was timid about the idea of putting something permanent on my skin. However, I'd created a cartoon character five years earlier who embodied my idea of an artist; he had an earring.
 |
| A 1995 depiction of "Sketch" from my comic strip, Komix. |
So instead of getting a tattoo, I'd thought I'd try out the piercing side of things. The guy I was studying didn't like piercing guns, he basically used a sharp nail. After a powerful hot flash, I never got any other piercings. Though, I did take out the original to occasionally replace it with another. Then I got my current hoop in about 2006, a painful upgrade from 16 gauge to 12 which stretched the hole in my ear by 0.8 mm. Clearly, I'm not suited for pain or piercings.
In the video, you'll see some pictures of me from my childhood and their comparison to photos from my early adult years. I find the contrast amusing.
I first started considering removing my earring after I earned my bachelor's degree. This isn't just because I wanted to make the right impression, much like my ponytail before it, my earring had lost its significance. I've long had a paranoia about getting my hoop pulled through my ear, tearing the lobe. Every baby I've held between 1992 and 2009 would grab hold of some long lock of my hair, quickly entangling it in its spit-greased fingers. The idea of those fingers finding my earring spooks me like nothing else except for chipping my teeth. Those are my two phobias. Perhaps with the earring out, the baby will instead bash my mouth with a sippy cup, ruining rendering 6 years of corrective dental work.
Truth be told, I'm not worried about being a dad. I'm more worried about not earning a living wage for my family than I am about my overall performance as a father. That, and I'm freaked out about my health. Thanks to my wife's encouragement, I've been working out more. The most challenging thing currently is trying to finish preparing the nursery. I'll let you know how that goes.
There is one picture I'll share with you that didn't make it in my video montage.
Pictured here, I'm sitting on my front step in 1997. This is one of my favorite photos of myself, but I don't think I'd go back even for a day. As any of my friends from back then could tell you, I was painfully lonely. I was also unable to reconcile my internal conflicts of character, nor could I accept my world as it was. There was always some Utopia I was striving for — a better community — a more thoughtful people. Much of this was reflected in my writing at the time.
I have a better understanding of myself now and how unique my insights can be. This also gives me more patience with others ... but admittedly not enough. My wife provides me the companionship and common vision I'd desired for so long. It's usually her feedback that provides me an even keel. Friends and family make up the Utopia I thought I'd set out to find. That's some seriously clichéd insight, rehashed one-too-many times in movies and novels. The fact that I appreciate that cliché, my own growth, and the trial run my stepdaughter, Kayla has allowed me — all these things allow me to face the prospect of a baby without fear. I didn't get there alone. Thanks to all of you who chipped in. I appreciate it.
For more of my videos, visit my YouTube channel at http://www.youtube.com/user/bstmichael77?feature=watch or subscribe to them by clicking to the button in the column to the right. Please leave a comment below!
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